A New Kind of Heroics Ch.2

Meanwhile, in the main meeting hall of the Superheroes' Guild...

Pantsman grinned in his seat at the giant, round table dominating the center of the hall. His videogame had come out that day, meaning he'd finally met all the requirements of becoming an official superhero. No more small town stuff, now he was running in the big leagues, he was going to protect the world from the BIG threats like alien invasion, asteroid apocalypse, and soil erosion. At the moment however, his new, supposedly uber fantastic life was a bit dry, though that didn't dampen his enthusiasm. Superman had the floor and he was reading from a clipboard about the last quarter's profits. Exciting!
After about an hour of this Pantsman was slumped in his seat, making soft burbling sounds as he pretended to die from boredom. Aquaman elbowed him in the ribs, "Quit that, I'm trying to pay attention," the irate hero hissed.
"Hey, when do we go and save the world?" Pantsman asked, yawning halfway through and ignoring the hero's poor mood, "I thought that was what superheroes, y'know, did. So far I haven't seen much doing around here."
"We've been doing plenty," Tony Stark said, sitting on Pantsman's other side. The billionaire inventor downed the last of his latest martini and launched into an explanation "We discussed a bunch of important business opportunities, had a few arguments about what color scheme the new wing should be, we even took a poll about how we should spend the funds from the Pepsi commercials, then we blah blah blah, blah blahbiddy blah, blah blick-black blah." Pantsman sighed loudly and pitched forward, hitting his face on the tabletop with a resounding thud. Superman stopped in the middle of a sentence and everyone swiveled around to look at Pantsman. Tony looked surprised, then noticed everyone watching. He put his hands up innocently, "Wasn't me!"
Superman frowned at Pantsman, "Are we boring you-"
"Yes!" Pantsman yelled, face still glued to the table. "I wanna go save the world from imminent danger, may I be excused?"
A few of the gathered superbeings snickered, but Superman just sniffed in disapproval. He slipped on a pair of reading glasses and scanned his clipboard, "Hmmm, well as it just so happens we do have some manual business that needs doing. A few heroes have gone missing as of late, all of them after going near an island in the north Pacific. We were going to take care of it after lunch, but if you insist..."
"And I do insist."
"Mm-hmm, fine then. Tony, Bruce, Robin? The four of us and Pantsman will be going to the North Pacific it appears. Bring a coat."
"Internal heating system," Tony bragged in a sing-song voice, his suit fitting itself to him where he sat. Superman sighed and rolled his eyes, giving up the floor and handing his clipboard and reading glasses to the Green Lantern as he, Tony, Bruce, and Bruce's sidekick walked toward the door at the back of the room. Pantsman jumped up from his own seat and followed the senior heroes. *Finally,* He thought, glad to finally be getting to work. As the Superhero quartet (and Robin) left the hall, the Green Lantern was preparing a powerpoint slideshow. Pantsman didn't know what it was about, but he sped up to a jog in order to escape.

Somewhere in the North Pacific...

"What does this button do?"
Boop! Ka-chunk.
Batman sighed in a long suffering tone, even though they'd take off only an hour ago. He hunched in his seat at the controls of the Batplane, "It would appear, that particular button you just pressed, ejects the emergency fuel. You had better hope they've got a gas station on this island."
"Y'think we should eject him?" Robin whispered from the seat behind Batman's.
"No," Batman said grudgingly, "At least, not until I figure out how he got back in after we ejected him the first time." A buzzer went off and Batman flipped a switch near the intercom connected to a headset he's given Superman, and the cellphone in Tony's suit. "You have reached the Batplane."
Superman's voice crackled through, accompanied by the high pitched whine of the wind, "We're almost at the island. If you need to get anything ready I'd suggest doing it now."
"Duly noted," Batman replied, already pushing buttons and flipping more switches. While he was doing that, Pantsman had stumbled on a bunch of fuzzy satellite photos of the island they'd be storming on the plane's computer. It only took a few seconds for him to see something was wrong.
Pantsman furrowed his brow and pushed the button for the intercom while still looking at the photos, "Hey, Clark? Tony? Uh, yeah, I'm looking at some photos of the area, and I was wondering, why does this island appear to have been, y'know, nonexistent until about a week ago!?"
Ironman made a noncommittal sound, "Mm-mm, I dunno."
"You... You're not even the slightest bit, worried about this?" Pantsman asked incredulously.
This time Superman answered, "Not really. I've faced my fair share of suddenly appearing islands."
"Really, it's not that much more implausible than, say, aliens."
"And when was the last time you met an alien?" Pantsman demanded.
"Just recently, perhaps you've met him. The man from Krypton?"
"Oh... right," Pantsman muttered, feeling foolish.
"There it is," Superman interjected, with a hint of a held in snicker in his voice.
Indeed, they were coming up on the island, and Pantsman got a good look at it on approach as Batman put the plane on autopilot. It wasn't particularly big, only about a quarter of a mile in diameter, with a volcanic cone rising up in the center of the landmass. Pantsman wasn't exactly sure that the volcano was natural though, and it wasn't just the fact that it had risen from the ocean in less than twenty four hours. The whole thing was, as far as he could tell, absolutely symmetrical, and more than that, it didn't have a single plant on its surface, and looked utterly smooth. "That's... different." He deadpanned.
"I, uh, I've not seen anything like that before," Superman admitted.
"Wait, do you hear that?" Tony asked.
"Hear what?" Batman asked.
"Some sort of high pitched whine, like, uh, kinda like a fan on high."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Oh, you can't be serious."

On the Island...

Pantsman leaned over the lip of the volcano and whistled, the sound lost in the roar of air being sucked in, "Damn." Down, far below the surface of the ocean around them, a fan the size of helicopter blades on steroids spun at what must have been near the speed of sound. Batman and Robin leaned in next to him to get a look at the fan.
"Looks like you were right Pantsman," Tony said, walking up the steep slope, "I just scanned the island," Pantsman nodded urgently, "and it is definitely not natural."
Pantsman scowled in disbelief, "What!? You had to do a scan to figure that out!? I could have told you that from the plane!"
"Well, now we've got proof," Tony countered.
Pantsman fumed, ready to punch Ironman in his iron face, but then Superman came flying up, landing gracefully next to Ironman, "It's solid, no entrance besides this," He pointed at the fan shaft.
"Do we go in?" Batman asked, backing away a few steps from the shaft with Robin copying him.
"Looks like it," Superman replied, then clapped his hands, "All right; Tony, you get Robin, Bruce you should be fine on your own, and I'll take Pantsman."
Pantsman glanced over his shoulder with dread then back at Superman, "Take me where?" Robin climbed onto Ironman's back and Batman readied his cape for gliding as Superman walked up to Pantsman, "Take me where!?" Superman grabbed the back of his shirt and lifted him into the air. They walked to the edge of the shaft, "Oh Hell no!" Superman swan-dived into the shaft, Ironman did a cannonball, whooping excitedly, while Batman just jumped feet first, "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!"
They plummeted down the shaft, Pantsman's womanly shriek lost in the rushing air current. The giant fan blades rose up to meet them, Superman dove straight into the fan... and six industrial sized blades snapped off as they hit him in quick succession, driving themselves into the wall. Pantsman's shriek cut off as they continued down through a long, twisting tunnel, "Oh, right, Man of Steel. Ah-heh." Superman ignored him.
As they flew through the tunnel, the walls began to change. They remained a tunnel, but pipes and offshoots started appearing, and only got more frequent until the original stone walls were hidden by dense forests of pipes following the contours of the tunnel interspersed with vents leading to God knew where.
After a few minutes Pantsman frowned and wriggled a finger in his ear. There was some sort of high pitched whine or buzz maybe coming from somewhere ahead of them. As they got deeper into the construct the noise got louder, until they finally reached the end of the tunnel, letting out through the roof of a spherical cavern the size of a city, but the size of the cavern was almost not enough to hold what occupied the cavern's center.
"Wow," Pantsman whispered in wonder. Dominating the cave was the largest computer he had ever seen. It looked like it was just being finished too; massive pieces of titanium plating were still being welded into place over top of still exposed circuitry. What grabbed Pantsman's attention a few seconds later however was that there were no human's in the cave to be welding anything, no half-humans either like his acquaintances Leo and Aeris. There weren't even any robot workers, which might have been expected to be serving a computer of this size. There were a lot of glowing plates lying around though.
They exited the tunnel, one of several emptying into the cavern, perhaps part of a cooling system, and flew around the massive computer to a platform about the size of a small parking lot, with a blank monitor equally as big looming over it. "I suppose this is just run of the mill, everyday stuff as well, hmm? Giant computers in the bowels of a fake volcano?" Pantsman asked as they dropped down.
Superman answered while plopping Pantsman back on the ground, "Well, maybe not the volcano part, and we still haven't proven that it's a fake island..."
"We're inside it!"
"...But other than that, yes. Giant computer, obviously sentient? Nothing to worry about."
"I faced one just last weekend," Ironman said proudly as Robin hopped off his back and Batman fluttered down to the platform.
Pantsman looked around curiously, "So now what? Do we just start breaking things?"
"I like this guy," Ironman said approvingly, charging up his blasters.
"No, I'm afraid not," Superman said sternly, like he was reprimanding a child. Ironman sadly lowered his blasters, "There is, after all, a protocol to this sort of thing." From an unseen pocket in his tights Superman pulled out a personal organizer, "Let's see, enormous sentient computer, subsection 4, part 3, ah here it is. First we break into the computer's lair, next we discuss things amongst ourselves, then comes the monologue."
Right on cue, the giant computer monitor roared to life, a flat, green line appearing horizontally in the middle of the screen, fluctuating like and oscilloscope as a deep, bass, monotone voice called out from hidden speakers, "That's actually a bit creepy, knowing what's going to happen before it does. But that's beside the point. Welcome, meat sacks, to your doom!" Pantsman gulped involuntarily, "Hmm, but what's this? My scans indicate that only one of you is even close to wetting their spandex tights. You do realize I have to kill you right?" A slight note of perplexity tinged the computer's voice.
Superman replaced his organizer to his pocket, "Oh we're quite aware of what you think you'll do to us, but the protocols covered that as well. You no doubt have a special weapon or defense system you think will be able to destroy us and allow you to complete your evil and/or dastardly plan, which would be?" He prompted.
"Oh no! I'm not falling for that old trick. The day I start monologuing is the day I'll wipe my own hard drive," The computer insisted fervently. "Besides, I'm about to kill you anyway, so there's no real point to it, is there?"
"No point to not tell us either then, is there?" Superman countered.
"Nope, forget it, I'm not saying anything," The computer said solidly.
While this exchange was going on, Ironman had started looking around and had picked up one of the glowing squares. "Wait... What the Hell!? Hey Bruce, take a look at this." He waved Batman, and subsequently Robin, over and held up the square, "It's an Ipad."
"Yes! Ipads!" The computer said proudly, "Through my puppet Tim Cook I have created an army of mind controlling machines already spread across the globe! Gah, damn it! You got me monologuing! I'm afraid I won't stand for that." Pantsman was getting a tad bored. This was turning out to be just the everyday evil A.I. At least, until the computer said, "Hey Ironman, looky here." Ironman looked up at the computer screen and the fifty foot word DELETE suddenly appeared in place of the oscilloscope, accompanied by a loud *Boop*, then instantly switched back.
Everyone looked at the screen, waiting for something to happen, but nothing immediately noticeable occurred. Eventually Superman sighed, "Yeah, I think we'll just start dismantling you now. Get to work boys." He stared menacingly at the computer as Batman and Robin grabbed weapons from their belts. Pantsman meanwhile was watching Ironman worriedly. The superhero hadn't moved a hair since the computer told him to look up. He apprehensively creapt toward him as Superman's expression changed to one of shock.
"What's up Clark?" Batman asked.
"My... My heat vision, my powers. They're not working!" He almost shouted, his voice growing panicked. And if he wasn't panicking yet, he would be soon, because at that moment Pantsman pushed on Ironman's shoulder to see if he'd respond. The only response though was Ironman's suit toppling forward, the helmet coming off, and dust pouring out of it.
"Holy Sh*t Batman!!!" Robin screamed. By Batman's slack-jawed, horrified face, he agreed.
"Oh Batman," The computer cooed, and the Dark Knight made the mistake of looking up. *DELETE* Robin screamed again as his mentor turned to dust.
Superman and Pantsman made a fast point to look away from the computer, but that only made them aware of new dangers. The Ipads all over the cave, previously inert, were now somehow hovering up off the ground and flying towards them. Superman tried to swat away the first to reach him, but it merely stopped in midair about a foot from him and Superman's fist was gripped in an invisible vice. As more and more surrounded him, adding their own techno-telekinetic force to Superman's prison, The Man of Steel quickly lost the ability to move at all and was, in short order, lifted off the ground, turned around with his eyes open, and deleted.
As this was all happening the computer dropped its previous monotone and laughed wildly, "Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!! Simple meat beings! I can delete any superhero whose name has ever even briefly graced the internet! Isn't that hilarious!? Mwahahahahahaaaaa!!!"
In way over his head, Pantsman grabbed and put on Ironman's gauntlets, also grabbing the boots, using the blasters to destroy any Ipad before they got close enough to attack. He heard Robin shriek and suddenly get cut off, and started sprinting madly for the edge of the platform with the boots held under his left arm. A swarm of Ipads flying after him, and the massive computer laughing insanely behind, Pantsman jumped from the edge of the platform and plummeted, trying to pull the boots on before he hit bottom.
As he made his attempted escape, the computer was focusing on something else. Using clips of the heroes' voices it was compiling a message, urging every superhero who heard it to come to the island as "reinforcements." It's message was sent out across the globe in a matter of seconds, calling every hero on the face of the planet to their doom.