The Redwall List

You know you are a Redwall fanatic when...

1. You say "Bo urr", "Hurr", or "wot, wot" at the beginning or end of everything.
2. You start calling your boss/teacher "sah."
3. You call the travel agency and book a tropical vacation to Sampetra.
4. If ever you see an otter, you look for Juska tattoos.
5. Every time your pet mouse is out, you are convinced he is looking intently at the kitchen knives.
6. In the same day, you buy a pet hare, and a padlock for your fridge.
7. When cats start pinning things with their claws, you KNOW they're plotting something. You just KNOW!!
8. An eagle flies overhead; you run inside screaming, "ARGULOR!!!!!"
9. Whenever you visit an abbey, you look for mice on the tapestries.
10. You get low marks and raised eyebrows in biology and psychology for saying that when badgers sleep, they dream of extinct volcanic mountains.
11. You get lectured in church for referring to the dark forest/hell gates in Sunday school.
12. You are wary of the rats in the pet shop.
13. You know what creature you'd be, your creatures backstory, and your family tree.
14. You are constantly on the alert for animals wearing clothing and talking.
15. You found some.
16. What? Why are you staring?
17. I DID!!!
18. In a way, you worship red sandstone.
19. If a book doesn't have talking animals, an abbey, warrior spirits, or hordes, you toss it in the fireplace.
20. You refer to "english" as "woodland."
21. You walk right up and pet badgers, because, as you know, badgers are good creatures.
22. You have been repeatedly mauled by badgers.
23. Whenever you give someone directions, it's always in a rhyming riddle.
24. Every time you get a new assignment at school or work you consider it your "quest."
25. You check to see if any of the squirrels you see talk in Olde English.
26. You leave the trail at the nature preserve and scramble down to the river bank, to ask the otters there if they can give you directions to camp Willow.
27. The otters bite you.
28. Before they bite you, you are absolutely certain you saw them shifting their eyes, like they were hiding something.
29. You have gone to jail for one or more of the following...
A. stalking Brian Jacques.
B. giving small children ale and cordial.
C. carrying a weapon (sword, battle ax, pike, etc.) around town.
D. Using said weapon on shifty looking pedestrians.
30. You know more about Martin the Warrior than you do about your own child.
31. You can recite and interpret all the "Martin" related dreams and visions in the series.
32. You have memorized the exact order of all the badger lords, abbots, abbey warriors, and their relation to each other.
33. You sold your entire wardrobe and wear only habits and sandals.
34. You measure time in seasons.
35. Every time you are on the docks you ask around for Log-a-Log or Skipper.
36. You've built a haredee gurdee.
37. You've played your haredee gurdee.
38. You've tripped over your haredee gurdee.
39. You stay up late pondering the question, "If bad creatures can become good, can good creatures become bad?"
40. You move to the forest and live off of nothing but what you can grow.
41. You move back to the city, half starved, after realizing that Redwall has an orchard, a pond, a garden, a forest, and scores of paws to help farm it all, and you just have some corn seeds you found outside Wal-mart.
42. You have written a Redwall fanfic.
43.You wonder what pine martin tastes like.
44.You call it "The Corsairs of the Caribbean."
45. You read this list.